I should be a model

I am a specimen of health. In it's purest form. I always eat good things for me. Shall we review how healthy I am? I think so. Let's start on Halloween morning. I woke at about ten, and ate some rice krispies. Mmm. I love the snapping and those other sounds. After that...I told a friend of mine I would bake a pie with him, but I wasn't in the right mind for making pie, so I got him and we went shopping for pies. Halloween is a busy day in parking lots. oh man. The cashier reminded us that it was lunch time by saying something about how pie wasn't a healthy lunch. Little did she know, I never intended to have pie for lunch. Until she said that. Pie and coke really isn't a healthy lunch. And then for dinner I got a sandwich from a corner store. It had lots of meat on it. It was very good. Easily really healthy for you. I went to the church and acted important for a while and danced and ate licorice. I like licorice. Very much. I don't know if I'm spelling that right. ANYWAYS, I came home to Reid's house. They were all gone. I was supposed to have given candy out to trick or treaters, but I wasn't here to give out candy, so none was missing when I came back. Chocolate. A good bowl of chocolate. How could I let such a thing just sit there, alone, neglected, on such a night as Halloween? I could never be so cruel. I let this bowl of chocolate come watch some movies with me. It seemed to like the movies very much. Thank you for smoking, and the Matrix trilogy. I had never seen the third one, and figured they would go well in order. I was right. By then my friend the sun had come back out to play, and I'm not on to disappoint. After some raisin bran, I met the day like an elephant hitting a tree. I grabbed some 'good for you' juice from sleven, and then caught a bus. When I left this bus, I was led to a church where they told me I would play with some kids. That sounded exciting, but I was beginning to miss a dear friend of mine. Her name is sleep. She stays with me at night, most of the time. There wasn't much room for her that Halloween night though. Chocolate and Neo are quite demanding, and really, I hadn't spent much time with them at all. I wanted to. Back to the rubberfloored room of church, they served us spaghetti. Some kicked spaghetti into someone else. I thought that was funny, but I didn't see it happen. This is a very good thing. After the kids finished eating spaghetti and playing games and singing songs and doing other kid stuff, they left, and we put the rubberfloored room back together. Made it look nice. We do that. I went outside and crushed some leaves and listened to some people talk about how much they hate gray squirrels. I'm indifferent. They don't bug me, I don't hate them. A simple, beautiful relationship. When these topics were exhausted, and leaves crushed, I met the bus again, and it took me back to the land of Sidney. I tried to get a sandwich, but they wanted much more than a poor unemployed, uneducated boy could afford. *sigh* I walk back to Reid's house and spoke with the cats. I would like to tell you that they understood, but that would be a lie. They baffled me. Someone came looking for Reid. He's not here. He won't be here again for quite a while. I zoned out pretty severely on the couch. I had a plan. When the couch could no longer console me, I would shoot the cats, and then go ask the man who made sandwiches to make one for me really cheap. Then I would check the town to see what I could see. This plan failed utterly. My memory gets hazy here. I shot the cat, and then...I was outside on the street and in my head nothing was making sense. I was in some group of evil thing, and everything was frightening and seemed like it was ready to devour each other and itself, and I couldn't figure it out. I wasn't scared, but I couldn't understand what I was thinking, or feeling? Was it a feeling? My clock said it was 7:07. That means I missed the sandwich. I was worried that meant I might have missed more too, but I got there and the world started to make sense again. I drank some terrible tasting liquid, bought a box of candy, and then ate most of it. Candy is good for me. It really is.

See? Perfect health. They should model my life for every person who wants to be healthy. Clearly, there is no better way. I really miss my friend, Sleep, right now.