A large portion of me frequently thinks I might be insane, or at least really, really weird. Yeah Werner, we all know that. Ha. Ha. So. Funny. The way my head works seems so ridiculous sometimes. I'm pretty old, and I still don't know how I work.
People keep telling me I am lousy at posting often. It's true. You win. Tell me it more. That's how you change things. Or, maybe, just maybe, I know it sounds crazy, but you could give me something to post about. Life as a student is highly exciting. Full of excitement. Excitement that by no means is internet worthy, and that sure is saying something. We may never know what, but it is definitely something.
I'm getting married! In September! Some people wonder why I want to marry her so fast. The bestest reason I could think of is that, once I marry her, our relationship doesn't have to be distant anymore. There are benefits to distance, like you can't do stupid things like go swing dancing together. You can't really do much together, except talk, and so we talk, and talking is great. We understand that we are different. That it won't be all roses. But, every short visit is tough because we are ripped apart again. And, until we say some vows and sign some papers in front of some witnesses, establishing a covenant with each other, that's all we have to look forward to. Distant talks and painful farewells. Sounds great, right? Sicko.
I highly enjoy Mark Hawkes classes, as I have probably said before. Almost definitely. I should read this more often. We are almost done. Just weeks left. Three and half left. So we are in Deuteronomy, because the Pentateuch is the first five books of the bible, and Deuteronomy is the last book. This must be hard reading. Well, the emphasis was how do we love God? The class has been applying things I had known before in ways that totally make sense. Why are there so many laws in the bible? Well, why do shampoo bottles say 'Do not drink'? We needed the rules. We need the rules. And the more we break them, the more we are given.
This morning was about how God loves us, and entered into a covenant with the Israelites, and then... that's what a wedding is, right? A covenant between two people? Doesn't the New testament say a few times that we are the bride of Christ? Yeah Werner, we all know that. Sure you do. Prove it. If God is wedded to us, he has shown and shows that he loves us. And if we want our union with God to last, we have to show that we love him too. Love is a choice. Sure, love can be a feeling, but when the feeling fades, you can still love. If I treated Stephanie like I treat God, she wouldn't have said yes. How do I show God that I love him?
I asked Stephanie once, how was best to show someone that you loved them, and she said, "to show someone you love them... I think it's in the way you live, it's the way you treat them when they are around, it's the way you behave when they arent around. It's making choices that you know they would smile at.. rather than cringe at. That's what I think anyways..". Sometimes I wish following God boiled down to things I could do. But, the things I am supposed to do, I do so badly at. Other times, I think it is best how it is. Even if it has to be so hard, all the time. And by so hard, I mean the same situation, over and over again. God pulled through once, can he do it again? Why is that hard?
I've discovered also, that despite my statements about being old, I am actually really young, and know almost nothing. So, I don't really mind some time learning, being built, becoming equipped, if you will. I'm not making sense anymore. Post end.
