Here we go

I'm going to go hang out with five guys in about twelve hours for three weeks. It's nuts. I'm going to go build a house in Zambia with them. I don't know any of them well, but I should know them better afterwards. It's going to be so sweet. I'm excited for all the people I can meet and the new experiences and just everything. I appreciate relationships ridiculously more than I did. I have a friend who I almost hated for a while. Maybe I actually did, but Now I miss him and we have such a crazy connection that only we have. It's beautiful. Every person I know I know differently from other people I know. Does that make sense? I don't want to be vague right now. I want this to make perfect sense. I know Jon differently than I know Josh, and I know him differently than I know Kyle. And it goes on and on. Once again, it's beautiful. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Remember that lame paragraph I wrote a bit ago about a lion? Well, I totally want to make that say what I meant to make it say. I want it to say how I equated the lion with God, as he was intended to be seen by his author. How Aslan came and the problems didn't go away. But, that was okay. Everything was okay. It helped me understand how ridiculously awesome God is. Since historymaker I asked God to reveal himself to me, because at one of the hubs the speaker talked about how when Peter responded to Jesus saying 'You are the Christ', or whatever he said, and Jesus said Peter was blessed, because that wasn't revealed by man but by God. So I thought,'If it worked for Peter, it could work for me'. Maybe I'm making up connections, but I think God was showing me a little bit of what He is like.

I got in the car the other day with my Mom. She drives me places because I don't have my license. I would be embarrassed, but gas prices are so high, I don't know if I want to drive. That's a lie. I totally do, but feel bad over wasting all that money to learn. It's only going to get worse though. That's totally a tangent. I brought my Bible and something. I fully brought my bible with the intention of reading it, but then I felt sort of awkward reading it there with my mom. Then I felt silly because I felt like that and she's my mom. I almost don't want to read it in front of people because I don't want to look like I'm showing off how super spiritual I am. I'm totally not. I know you aren't supposed to be ashamed of the gospel. Do you know what I'm trying to say? It's hard sometimes.

There you go. I'll talk to you in three or four weeks.

The End of a Sandwich Artist

I thought of the title a while ago. What feels like a long while ago. I told someone it would be the title of my next post, and then went and did one that wasn't with that title. But now, I can use it. I am no longer a sandwich artist. Unfortunately, I might have gotten myself hooked on Subway. Before, I didn't really understand how it worked, so I wasn't crazy about it. Now I pretty much know everything. And, as far as I can tell, everyone loves me there. I'm going to miss them. Subway stories seem to mean a lot more to people who work at subway. It's a sweet thing to have in common.

But, now that it is over, 4 days from now I get on a plane for 9 hours, then I sit in an airport for some more hours, and then I get on a different plane for 10 hours. I don't even know how long the car ride after that will be. And all of that with 5 people I know of but don't really know. Ya know? They are like acquaintances, but I think I know them better than that, but we don't really hang out... I guess I'll make some more friends.

This morning I updated my white board. It has a calender on it that goes up to the beginning of September. That's about as far as I think I know what I'm doing until. Does that sentence work? Anyway, it is kind of funny how empty my calendar looks, but how unavailable I'll be. Two little notes cover 7 weeks. Hahaha. Maybe that isn't so funny.

I've got a plan. I don't know how to implement it now though. I don't think I can. I have a friend I love dearly, but we don't really... I don't know how to put it. It seems very surface, even though I know it isn't. I want to be a better friend to him, but I'm not a very serious person in general, and so I'm generally not taken seriously. What's my point? I'm bad at that stuff. But I've got a plan, as I said. Unfortunately, plans to become better friends with someone don't work well when you are going away for a bit. It will have to wait. I think that's okay.

I hope to be a different person when the summer is over.

Preclude

I watched a movie tonight about a lion. I liked it, in the way that I like those sort pf movies. They get me every time. Like superhero movies. You just feel that much more super afterwards. Anyways, the whole movie I was waiting for the lion to appear, because I knew that once the lion appeared, everything would be okay. It would all stop, because there is a lion, and then who cares what you were doing? The moment never came. But, that was okay. It came close.

John wrote a book, several actually, and they turned into book studies that churches do. My mom went to one, and John spoke to them through a video series thing, and she got that video series. She does stuff like that. Anyway, when I'm in my house, most of the time I'm sitting around, not doing anything. The other day my mom was cleaning up the living room. The living room has pretty much everything you could want to do in this house, and anything not available in the living room is in the bedroom. She was listening to John, and I overheard him. He was talking about heaven, and how it is real and how it is real now. It was alluring. He made me want a piece.

I don't like excuses. I think I've gotten the difference between them and reasons figured out. Excuses are when you don't want to be blunt in telling someone you don't want to.

I have a friend who does more of everything I do, and is fine with that, while I think I should be doing something else. I wish I were more like him, sort of. His mom talked about a guy who was always sharing that life was such a struggle, and that he was barely scraping by, and how totally unappealing that is. Life shouldn't be a struggle. He does what he wants and is fine, and I do what I want and feel like a waste of time. There's nothing wrong, it really is just a waste.

There should be a good thought here at the end, but words fail me. Subway greatly reduces grammatical accuracy.