It's too late

Small things seem so much bigger when they are all you know. I'm not a huge fan of decisions. Once I have made one, I'd rather I wasn't told that it wasn't actually an option.
If I'm going to write here, I should cut the vague crap. This was a bad idea.

Sometimes I think I'm on the right page, but nobody else is there. I could try to bring them there, but I'm not a great communicator. And, the right page is kind of scary, if I am right, and some wouldn't like it. How should I convince people to go to somewhere frightening when I can't lead them to entertaining things? And talk really isn't enough. Thoughts aren't enough. But they are all I have right now.

I wondered what people think a lot today. I worked and saw people come in, and saw what they did, how they acted, and could guess what they thought. Probably wrongly, but I think it's a step. Maybe. If someone could read my mind, I'd let them. They would end up hating me, or me hating them, but I think that would be okay. Would that really change anything? Yes. For the better, I would hope.

We read a chapter that said that following Jesus should be an adventure, but the church is more comparable to a 'how-to' video. Someone said that wasn't us. Surely it couldn't be our church. He is clearly writing to someone else. I think he was wrong though. My life doesn't look much like an adventure, and that's mostly my fault. I'm kind of lazy. My old Japanese teacher agrees.

Should 'why' come before going? What if we never get to the why, but we must go? What if that is somehow part of faith? But is doing what you are supposed to because that is what you are supposed to do right? I've had this question for a long time. If I weren't so lazy, I would dig around and tell you how long for.

I'm glad I don't write books. I don't have to make sense.