Colour

I don't like raw apples a lot. They make you hungry. Especially when you were already hungry to begin with. Hosed. Gum too. I'll chew it if someone gives it to me, but more often just because I forgot that it makes you hungry. Food is ill distributed. We should do something about that. Okay? Okay.

Literature is a minefield of death. The last stressful part of school. And only because I'm lazy. Stupid. I should be making it work right now. I shouldn't sleep tonight. I will. But in all reality, I have much to do. I won't. Byron had a pretty intense line...

'They vow to amend their lives, and yet they don't;
Because if drown'd, they can't -- if spared, they won't.'
-Lord Byron, Don Juan.

Do you feel cultured? I like him and what he writes. I really do. Now, write a million page essay on it and present it to a class. Do you still like it? Nope. I don't want to not like it. It's unfortunate, because the price for keeping my like of him requires a 10% sacrifice. Not that I could get that if I tried. I don't know if I can try anymore. I write essays I like, but they come back and were reviewed terribly. But we mustn't base our success on the opinions of a few critic judges. And I began thinking I could write a book. Ha.

What am I doing? Oh dear. Maybe I'm overloading and I don't know it. Shut down sequence initiated. It's not shutting down. Maybe if it were. Maybe. Would it help? Reboot.

The University of Colour. At this place of higher education, you will be enlightened on every colour. They have classes dedicated to them. The orange course. The green course. The blue course. You will learn the history, what it is, where it is used and why, what effect it produces on people when they see it as well as when they wear it.What connotations are attached to the colours. Symbols they might represent. Literary effect. Artistic effect. We would show you how to make people feel happy or sad or excited when they saw your art. We will teach you how the world works through colour. Do you know how many animals are colour blind? Don't you think there might be a reason for that? Colour is mostly ours, and thus we should know the effects it has on us. People who have never seen colours before. Does what colour they wear matter? If we told them what colour it was, would it change anything?

Music. It is said that the kind of music played can help or mess with how a plant grows. Plants don't know words. Can they? They can detect vibrations. Otherwise, how could music have any effect on them? Do the words matter in the music we listen to? I've heard they do. What if you listened to some crazy foreign music? You don't know what it's saying. The type of music would still affect us. It affects plants, right? Sex, drugs and rock and roll. Those are the bad things right? Maybe? What's wrong? Excess is bad. Right? We have an excess of food. They should stop swearing.

Thinking and doing aren't very far apart. Of course, if it is something good and wholesome, it's a many day journey from the thought to the action. If it isn't though. Bam. You obsess over it, to the point of consuming your thoughts. That's why every thought is supposed to be captive to God. Better to be a Hollow Man than an evil man. Or is it? T. S. Eliot wrote the poem called Hollow men. They were men who couldn't act. Something got lost. They were hollow inside. They were filled with straw. They are terrible things masquerading as men. Sitting on the fence is worse than picking the wrong side, right? Right?

Intentions are thoughts. I've had many intentions. Where are they now? I think I surrendered to the wrong thing. We should start over again. That would be cool. No preset ruts. Nothing in the way. I'll go with you, knowing nothing else, and everything will be alright. Better than knowing you are there, and that I should be, and that I'm not and won't be for a while. You said we can start over with you, but it is hardly a new start if it's in the same life. It retreats to what it used to be. It squirms like a slug on salt. The slug dies. So do we. The slug crawls out of it's skin to escape. It hurts. Disaster would be the salt I suppose. It has to hurt pretty bad to kill yourself to get away. This is what you have. This leads to burning. I have another way, but you have to die to what will burn. I don't understand. I can't die while I continue to live. What do I do?

What would Jesus do? Oh yeah. Thanks. That's helpful. Jesus let himself die.

Is that it? I have some friends who have a saying 'Let life happen'. They like to party. They like to let life happen. Maybe the key is just to let go and let yourself die? You can't allow yourself to die. It isn't natural. What we live now isn't natural.

Okay, but last time I came to the conclusion that it wasn't my job, I stopped thinking about it all completely. It isn't my job, right? I can wait over here like over there. What's the difference?

Step back and see the big picture. See the colours. We can help you see what it means. Perspective, my friend. The way out of the maze isn't the most visible from inside the maze.