Friday, May 22, 2009

An upcoming adventure

Only super nerdy people do stuff like this, but I like challenges. And who cares if I am super nerdy? I don't, so there. We, being me and some other fans, will attempt to recreate a musical from the internet. Crazy huh? Dr. Horrible's sing along blog. If it all falls together, it will be sweet. Unfortunately, I haven't found as much support as I was hoping I would find. That makes it more difficult.

You know in the movies, where you all see them actors being cool and loved by fans who don't really know them? That is their role. Be that guy. The villain. Hero. Singer. Lover. Whatever. They do it, well sometimes, sometimes not, but they don't make the movie happen. You know? Director, camera guys, light guys, ect ect ect. I don't know all the details, but I know it is more than kids pretending to be someone else. I know that. Details details details. It will be crazy amounts of work. But, that's okay. As said, I like challenges.

At the end of this, I will be unemployed. By choice. I won't have enough money. I know that. But I want out. Need out. I can be that man, but I can do better to. I have to. I modelled for a photographer the other day. Maybe I could be a ridiculously good looking male model. If I avoid gasoline fights, I should live a long, blissful life. Realistically, I might kill someone if I worked in a job like that. Do you know me? Does that tell you why?

I could be a rockstar. I'd have to focus a bit, but I could be. Why not? It would be lots of fun. Lots of luck to get in. What's the difference between a park bench and an artist? The park bench can support a family of four. I'd be risking that, but who makes a family at twenty? I joke that my life is over now that I am twenty. Really, I have lots of time left to do fun stuff. Ridiculous, what-the-duece-are-you-doing stuff. Like be a rockstar. Then, in a few years, when I still have nothing, and them secondary educationed kids are done and equipped to get paid big bucks or at least have a plan of some sort, would I regret it? Recently, I've realized I'm not as good at that 'live without regrets' thing as I thought I was. 'You only live once' didn't even cut it. I wasn't thinking. No time for hesitation. Carpe Diem, right? I hesitated.

Or I could be an actor. I don't think I could be, nothing worth getting paid for as is. Enough to have some fun, but nothing to earn a living yet. Practice makes perfect, right? If this reenactment works. Sorry. When this reenactment occurs, I can look at that. Judge off that. Perhaps. I have nothing but fond memories of putting on plays and other such performances. Them planned ones. On the fly, who knows what I'll do. I mean, will happen. So, yeah. I could be famous. Cool eh? Be my friend now. Hahaha.

All that was tangent. Cadence. Word. Aha. The point was, I don't have time now because I work every night, or something like that, and sleep when I am not at work, and then see kids, friends, acquintances, when I should be sleeping and am not. Almost keeps me in that place of tired-enough-that-I-am-still-fun-but-not-dead. Take out work and I'll sleep at night, and have to do anymore. Funny enough, I've found out that no one wants to hang out with you unless you have a job. That isn't what they are thinking, but definitely what happens. In any case involving me. So these projects wil keep me busy. Focused on something healthy. You know?

I wonder if I will ever find someone who takes me seriously in person. I wonder if, when I find this person, I will enjoy them.

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