I have a friend who describes how her brains works as something like standing beside a train that is going full speed, and she sees all these images and ideas and thoughts passing by as quickly as a train, and she just picks one at random and speaks it. That's kind of what I do here.
I don't think I have ever let myself get to this sorry a state before. I've worked a few nights in a row now. The weekend I have only had naps, and Haven't mustered much better since. My body is not accustomed to sleeping enough. Which is great. Four or five hours, and then I'm up. 8 hours is such a waste anyway. Eventually, I just won't sleep, and will have excessive amounts of time on my hands. If I thought my body could take what it is taking now. I was playing some game this morning (you know, when I should have been sleeping) and I would fall asleep whenever I closed my eyes. I got my nap in, and that kept me going for a while, but then... Who told me I could do this? That I wanted to?
I would sleep more, but I need more hours. I want to do things. I want to learn to drive. Play music well. Make that stuff I got worth while. Be a godly man. Clean my perpetually unclean house. Keep my friends. They aren't easy to keep when you can't see them often. These are mostly time management problems. I think. But if not sleeping can correct my lack of organization...
I pick dates about a week away from whenever I am, and that wil be when things get better. Life will be what I want it to be. I just have to wait. I don't think that is true though. Time for a different approach. Yeah.
Yeah.
3 comments:
Time for a different approach. Yeah.
Yes. This. You worry me with all the work you do -- money is great and all, but you need to have boundaries.
Brainstorming session tomorrow night?
I wasn't thinking about a different approach to work, but life. Instead of letting it happen, making it happen. Guiding it to where. Using my time productively. that's why I was trying to buy a calender, but you know how that worked out.
yes... well, at least you havn't let the rigorousness of working life disrupt your spontanuity.
we know that balance is important, but i understand the whole motivation to work lots and hard. I don't think there's much wrong with that. You've still got at least one friend and i think you'll put up flags if the burning out or workaholicism is on the horizon. So as long as you keep on, keep it real.
Making life happen. neat.
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