Functional

Getting thoughts out of your head helps you put things together. Set things straight. Writing them down especially. Figure out if anything is wrong. I think something is wrong. Not obviously. More like the milk has gone rotten. Cannot tell until you open it up.

Life is good. It's summer. I'm done school. I'm working on getting a job. I go to Nanoose in a couple weeks. My nerd games are jacked up and good to go. Everything is good. Quiet. Like toddlers in the other room. When they are quiet, something is wrong. I don't know. I almost want something to be wrong. Quiet gets boring really fast. I lost focus again. When that happens, I empty. Well, yeah. I don't really have many real goals. Goals are essential to productivity. Goal: stay tight with God. Goal: Get a job. Goal: figure out what is next. I think those are most of my goals for now. The last one isn't coming. Not for a while. The second one might be complete soon. I can then check it off and feel grand. But the first one. I've been ignoring the first one. I've been having fun, doing stuff. But sometimes fun isn't so fun.

My little sister would go over to friends places, and went she came back, we would ask her if she had fun, and she would say no. I thought it was silly. Of course you were having fun. While you were there, would you say you weren't having fun? While it is happening, you think you are having fun. Why does your opinion change after?

I was cleaning up my computer a few days ago, and I found what I ended up calling a preblog. They were dated entries into a notepad. Back when I was in grade ten. It reminded me of my brother, because it read like he writes. I don't like how he writes. I try to separate myself from my siblings. You might say that is silly and I clearly don't know how family works. You would probably be right. My mom says they look up to me though. I don't know why really. I'm not someone you would want to emulate. That is what you want to happen when you look up to someone right? Right now I'm empty and lost and not entirely sure of how to fix it.

I don't really like it when people complain about things being hard when it only takes a little planning. Something small. I can't complain then. Throw a bit of time management in there, and it will run a little smoother. It's summer time. Time to switch it up.