Sometimes when I'm talking to people, they start talking to someone else, and my mind goes somewhere else. Then I continue talking from where my mind went. It doesn't make physical sense how I got there, and it seems random, and they won't understand what I am talking about. But, really, details kind of bore me in some things. They make things make sense. But they aren't exciting. They are part of the story and the build up, but I don't know if I have patience for that. I want to jump up to the climax. Having explained this, I feel a little better. The flow is here. And I will tell you where I am.
The Airlock has been given an assignment as individual members, together. It is difficult to accomplish alone, as we are given it, but we are meant to do it together. This might not be making sense yet. More small things. 'The 40 day Revolution' is a book we have adapted to our youth group, and are implementing through the cell groups. It is an assignment for us to do everyday. For me. For them. Each one who participates. It is meant to be a fasting type thing, but we decided that for youth to be fasting food for forty days was a bad idea. It starts Sunday, October 28th.
We should fast something though, right? I went assuming this, and was surprised when my co-leader disagreed. It seems to lose a lot of it's impact if that is missing. We wanted to dumb it down more. We haven't even started yet and we want it easier. We want to be ready; We might not be. We want to be ready for the things God has for us. For what he has. Whatever it is, it will be intense. And if he throws surprises at us and gives something simple, like swimming in a dirty river for a while, that's okay too. This 'fasting' thing is meant to disconnect us from the life that we have in the world a bit, while drawing us more into God's life for us. Into God's life. Closer to Him. It doesn't cloister you away from the world. In fact, it challenges to you go do specific things that you would have never done if not asked. Scary things. Potentially awkward thing. Things that make you reach out. Things that will bust your comfort zone if you so choose to follow through. Choosing some activities over others doesn't seem very...solid.
On the front of the little booklet, it has a verse that said something about Jesus getting up early in the morning, before the sun rose, and praying on a mountain side. I read that, and thought that sounded great. I don't have a mountain side, but I can get up before the sun, right? Well, I decided that late one night, and let the next morning slide. Then the next morning, this would be the day. But it wasn't. Apparently I need sleep more than I know. I am sure that prayer is important to the start of things. So it should happen at the start of my day. I want to be able to do this, but I can't right now. Something needs to change. I should probably go to bed earlier. Maybe the start of my day doesn't have to be before the sun rises?
I made a list of things I could pray for. Before I complained that I had nothing to talk to God about. Now I have a list of things to ask Him. But it isn't like a grocery list. I got the base of this from adapting a thing sent out by the pastor, Pastor John, and forwarded to us through Andrew. It told us how to practically live. But I don't like vague lists of things you could do. That are really hard to do. And a list like that would be pretty impossible. And constant. Like washing dishes. It's never really finished. I took the things it told us to ask God for and made my list. Then I prayed my list. Then I made a sweet picture with my list and put it on my desktop. It was amazing. Then my Dad told me to make the lines go away. The lines were my list. I asked why, and he said he didn't like them. I reluctantly replaced the desktop. That made me a little sad.
The next couple days reminded me that I had told people I would pray for them, but really, I don't pray as much as I should. I intend to pray my list everyday though...So I should add them to my list! I did, and now I have this paper full of stuff to pray for, and would take forever to read through, let alone pray for. I don't think I can do this. But, I have a list. That must count for something.
I think I'm going to try to fast anyway. I was thinking, what should I fast? Well, probably everything I can do without. Isn't that scary? Thursday nights I watch Heroes with Michael Cronk, Christian Gowan, and Joshua Sissons. It's great. I love Heroes. I also watch the new stuff sometime late Monday night or Tuesday. But they can go on without me. And all the new stuff will still be nice and new for me when these forty days are over. I could fast gaming and such things. There are games, I have been told, that I am missing out on, and that I really should play. I haven't yet and I'm fine so far. Movies I've been told to watch. One day. Compy? Well...Completely? I'm already off msn. A different fast with a guy, completely separate from all this. In theory I could tie up most of the ends by Sunday...and if I can, I should, right? We will see.
More than the problem of what to give up is what to do with this time it should free up. I had lots of time once. And I did nothing a lot. I slept. I made myself food. I watched a season that is about 20 hours long in a week. I was a waste. I read in a book that idleness is bad. That we shouldn't be idle. That if we don't work, we shouldn't eat.
Proverbs says bad stuff about sluggards too. I guess I have a huge list I'm supposed to pray through. And a book 66 long that I could read.
I was thinking about something. On a Wednesday, there was a conversation about the other churches in the area. The denominations. About how most of our pentecostal church members are from other churches. Then, kind of accidentally and in a completely different context, not relevant to this in any way, on Friday Andrew said something of the other churches in the area. You're clever. You'll figure it out. Then Sunday kind of clicked a little. I don't even like that song much. The dumb break dividing walls song. Like, I guess it's an okay song, with a good idea. But it is always played intentionally. With an agenda I might say. It isn't a song to be a song, so I don't like it. But, there are a lot of churches in this area. And maybe, we could send people to them? Revive them?
Christian is an evangelist. He works at the anglican church. He says that, as an evangelist, he shouldn't be working inside the walls of the church, but outside of the church. And, as he an evangelist, I agree. We have people to go bring Jesus out to the world, if the world will take it. But could we, these churches here, work at this together? I don't know how to get there, but maybe we could start something. I'm pretty sure something is already started. It would be foolhardy to think I was the first.
I kind of want to start seeing how things are going with the other churches here. Maybe I can do something. Maybe we can change something. Maybe.
By the way, Thrice has a new album out. It is incredible. Go listen to it. http://www.myspace.com/thrice
And the lyrics are powerful too. Look them up.
6 comments:
Good writing Werner, I do have one question for you...Why is prayer without fasting, "dumbing it down"?
I didn't think prayer without fasting was dumbing it down. I should apologize. The way things happened on Monday made it seem like the group we were in were focus on the day by day activities, which are excellent, and I am glad they focus on them. I just think we missed something. Which is probably the fault of mine since I claim to be a leader. Prayer wasn't mentioned much, and was almost missed in the night. But, there was a lot on our minds, as they were presented with what we plan to do for a while, as we try to help them understand what it really is. We are doing something really cool next week about God's promises and tying them into prayer, and this excites me. I do apologize for any misunderstandings.
Thanks bud, that clarifies a lot.
"he shouldn't be working inside the walls of the church, but outside of the church."
...as he ironically reads it in his church office.
Here's something we should rap our minds around: the only reason why many Christians are not willing to 'go' for Jesus is because their not willing to truely, sincerely go TO Jesus. ...and then the question remains: if they're not really doing THAT, than are they still Christian???
...but that is not our place to judge or cast judgement. Thus having a huge reason to pray for our brothers and sisters (who are IN Christ already and who dont YET know Christ)
Good questions Werner! I'm proud of the man you've become - never give up! You are capable of alot more than you think! Acts 1:8
Hey Rob!
In Christ and knowing Christ eh Christian. That's an interesting distinction. I wonder if the first could be seen more as a constant while the latter more of a journey that we're all on?
Hm. I trip over words like "Revive" and "Church". I wonder if Revive (like "new life") is what God does more than what we do... and if its a lot deeper than what we often think of when we hear the word.
And I like to respect "church" as people rather than walls and therefore I think it could be said that we do bring church with us and God brings revival. Maybe even our respect for our nature as "Christ's body" enables God's revival?
It's a challenging point you seem to have brought up... is it that fasting encourages going against the grain which is in the same clan as going "for" Jesus (or TO Jesus for that matter)?
hmm
And thanks for the challenge to everyday practicality. "Easier said than done" someone once said.
That being said, I guess I'll stop talking now.
Post a Comment