My Alibi

I had some good conversations with some people recently. I think good conversation are probably some of my favourite things. They help me figure out who I am a little, and they let me connect with someone else. It's like fellowship or something. But I can't even have good conversations with all of my friends yet, let alone strangers.

When my friends wanna do something, they wanna DO something. Sitting around and talking isn't enough most of the time. It's harder with more people anyway though. It just seems to degenerate very quickly. I don't think some people really want to talk like that, so they don't. The good conversations, where you talk about something that matters to who you are, and you leave it with something more.

I'm starting to think that there isn't a 'supposed to be'. I keep sitting around and saying stuff like 'God, what am I supposed to be doing?'. What if the supposed to be is null and void because we have Christ in our hearts? What if we didn't wait for the okay and just did stuff anyway? Either that is worded badly or my point is bunk. In 1 Samuel, Sam tells Saul to wait 7 days for him to come and make the sacrifice. Saul waits 7 days, his army starts dispersing, and so he makes the sacrifices, and then Sam comes up and rebukes him. God wasn't with Saul anymore after that.

So, clearly constant communication with God is necessary. A friend and I were talking a little bit about this. I asked him what was stopping us from having this communication with God. He said selfishness. I asked if we weren't selfish, would we have this communication. It didn't seem to work. But then we kept talking, and he said 'deny yourself, take up your cross...and follow me'. So we are in the way. It's always the hardest option. But it's probably worth it. It's hard to live out when you aren't really doing anything though.

That's where my point comes in. If we go and do good works, or try to, or just carry on with life with God...I'm trying to say inactivity sucks. Don't be inactive because you don't know what to do and are waiting for God to come and tell you. I play on an online risk site. I have I friend I play with on there. We laugh at him, mostly in good fun. Sometimes it goes too far. He isn't the best strategist. Sometimes we see it getting tight, so we tell him exactly what to do, and he becomes our puppet. I'm in a game with him currently. He's doing okay. I have some nut case out to kill me. Haha. I'm also encouraging him to think about what to do. This is a long story for a simple point. That most already know. By not telling him what to do, he can get stuck and tough it out and think about it, and eventually become better.

So then by me not knowing what to do, and not being told what to do, I might think and persevere and tough it out and become closer to God and more of a person than a puppet. If I have to deny myself, I might as well learn what I'm denying.

The cell group started on Wednesday. I read a bit of Acts earlier in the day, because I figured that the early church is what the cell groups are the most similar to. There was a passage that I pretty much fell in love with. The disciples wait for the Holy Spirit to come. There are about 120 believers. The Spirit comes. People are amazed. Peter speaks to them. 3000 people were added to their number that day. And then this is how the believers lived.

Acts 2:42-47
42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

That's what I'd like the cell group to look like, to some degrees. That we are devoted to what they were devoted to. I've sort of mentioned how I think fellowship should be. Miracles happening...that would be amazing. Maybe not for a while though. That...I don't know. But that we might encounter at brother or sister each day and enjoy encouraging fellowship. That would be incredible. If I could start a revolution, that is what I would want it to look like. For now we will ignore the persecution that came to the church later for being so in love with God.

That doesn't happen instantly though. It's a process, and it should be. Always growing. No step-by-step process. I think that before it even gets to cell group though, it starts in us. If we are to deny ourselves, what do we fill ourselves with? We are to pick up our cross and follow Jesus, but I don't know what that looks like. What if we devoted ourselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer? I don't know. I want to try it though. It starts in us, this potential revolution.

I invited a friend of mine into this revolution. He is in a place were he sees everything as broken and wants to fix it. I told him that it wasn't his to fix, but he asked why he felt so strongly about it then. I was a little jealous. I wish I had things I felt strongly about. I told him, but he said if I was him, I probably wouldn't like it either. I've heard it said that we are all missionaries. All ministers. I think he is a missionary to where he is now. If you go away as a missionary to a far away place, everyone hears of it and prays for you and expects gifts when you come back. If you go somewhere and accidentally become a missionary...that same support just isn't there.

I ask you to pray for these revolutionary missionaries who go ignored.