Hanging out and Reading books don't Combine well

I don't know what it is about potatoes, but they make my mouth feel like it is going to explode. Then I think about how they use potatoes to power lightbulbs in grade school science experiments. That's encouraging. Supper was almost ready before I left, but I had to leave. I still arrived ten minutes late. Before I left,'Hey, wanna save some supper for me?', and they said ,'Yeah all over it' or something like that. Yeah, now a have a mountain of these mouth exploding, lightbulb powering potatoes to shovel into my stomache. I'm not even hungry. Yuck. I'm sure there were carrots being made before I left. I hoped beyond hope that there would be carrots buried in the mound of earth apple, but I have no such luck. This, my friends, is an exciting day. Mishaps with potatoes.

I still don't have a job. I paint the gate outside. That's what I'm doing with my life. Painting a gate. Why? Because it needs painting. I'll paint it again in a couple years. And I will spend the rest of my life living in my parents house eating copious amounts of potatoes and painting gates white and houses blue and receiving free fast food sandwiches by various methods, so my tiny money cushion never deteriorates and I never go anywhere. That's a decent sized sentence. Is it grammatically legit? I can't tell anymore.

I looked into some school kind of. Like, I'm pretty sure 'kind of' is the most you can look into through websites. I don't know what I want to do with myself, so I think I will go to school so I feel like I'm still doing something. What should I take? Programs? Where are their programs? Oh, there they are. But, this is just a brief overveiw of nothing I'm looking for. Courses then? Okay, here we go. But I've heard you have to be smart to get into some of these or something like that. Where do I find that? Requirements? Nope. Oh, here is a recommendation. Cool, I might make it in, with solid recommendations like that. But, cost? Cost is nowhere. I hear it is supposed to be about a million dollars. And will have to keep assuming this, but you aren't telling me the price. Jon says that's because they don't want to scare you off. I don't know about everyone else, but I'm not jumping in to be told later that I owe a million dollars. Gahhhh!!!

Sometimes it gets boring at home when you don't have a job. Or school. Or friends in the same situation. That's why I don't mind painting the gate. Or picking apples. Something to do is far superior than doing nothing. I decided that sleeping and watching movies by yourself also count as nothing. I brought this up because computers are boring. Maybe that logic doesn't follow, but I got there somehow. I found some almost cool things my compy has that I totally don't really care about. Like an 'on-screen keyboard'. Type everything you want to type with one finger. Yeah, it's slow. And this magnifier thing. It's kind of cool, if I was half blind. It has an 'invert colours' option. Why? I like inverted colours as much as the next guy, but this seems rather silly.

Hahaha. I'm sorry if you read that. A little bit of wasted time. Brought to you from me, through the internet. Intraweb? If you want to know how I'm doing, I'm almost finished painting the gate, and I don't know what is next. Just pretend you don't know what is next, and nobody is there to tell you. I guess I shouldn't need someone to tell me. I'm sort of new to this 'life' thing. That's pretty much where I am.

Bits

To sum up everything from then to now, it went better than planned. Africa was hot and dry, and what you would expect Africa to be. Well, I suppose I can't label it all. Zambia. There you go. Now, I don't think I will go on anymore short term missions trips. It's hard to understand when it all comes and goes in less than a month. Even so, if I could go back and not do it, I would still go.

Then I went to Pender Island, my longer, less advertised mission. Each week, a different set of kids came, and I got to play with them outside in the sun and the rain. We went canoing and disc golfing and swimming and hike and a deluge of other things. Action Packed relaxation. And I'm pretty sure I am friends with everyone who was staff at the camp. Between 20 and thirty kids. They aren't kids, but I couldn't tell you their ages. People are people, no matter how small. Or what age, I guess.

So now, after about 5 weeks of living with more friends than I have here at home, it's a little dull. A more efficient person would have a job by now and know what was next. I've been back a week. I didn't plan anything past Friday. Oops. But, I'm busy with small things like sending off those who go to school, and picking apples. Mostly picking apples.

Here we go

I'm going to go hang out with five guys in about twelve hours for three weeks. It's nuts. I'm going to go build a house in Zambia with them. I don't know any of them well, but I should know them better afterwards. It's going to be so sweet. I'm excited for all the people I can meet and the new experiences and just everything. I appreciate relationships ridiculously more than I did. I have a friend who I almost hated for a while. Maybe I actually did, but Now I miss him and we have such a crazy connection that only we have. It's beautiful. Every person I know I know differently from other people I know. Does that make sense? I don't want to be vague right now. I want this to make perfect sense. I know Jon differently than I know Josh, and I know him differently than I know Kyle. And it goes on and on. Once again, it's beautiful. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Remember that lame paragraph I wrote a bit ago about a lion? Well, I totally want to make that say what I meant to make it say. I want it to say how I equated the lion with God, as he was intended to be seen by his author. How Aslan came and the problems didn't go away. But, that was okay. Everything was okay. It helped me understand how ridiculously awesome God is. Since historymaker I asked God to reveal himself to me, because at one of the hubs the speaker talked about how when Peter responded to Jesus saying 'You are the Christ', or whatever he said, and Jesus said Peter was blessed, because that wasn't revealed by man but by God. So I thought,'If it worked for Peter, it could work for me'. Maybe I'm making up connections, but I think God was showing me a little bit of what He is like.

I got in the car the other day with my Mom. She drives me places because I don't have my license. I would be embarrassed, but gas prices are so high, I don't know if I want to drive. That's a lie. I totally do, but feel bad over wasting all that money to learn. It's only going to get worse though. That's totally a tangent. I brought my Bible and something. I fully brought my bible with the intention of reading it, but then I felt sort of awkward reading it there with my mom. Then I felt silly because I felt like that and she's my mom. I almost don't want to read it in front of people because I don't want to look like I'm showing off how super spiritual I am. I'm totally not. I know you aren't supposed to be ashamed of the gospel. Do you know what I'm trying to say? It's hard sometimes.

There you go. I'll talk to you in three or four weeks.

The End of a Sandwich Artist

I thought of the title a while ago. What feels like a long while ago. I told someone it would be the title of my next post, and then went and did one that wasn't with that title. But now, I can use it. I am no longer a sandwich artist. Unfortunately, I might have gotten myself hooked on Subway. Before, I didn't really understand how it worked, so I wasn't crazy about it. Now I pretty much know everything. And, as far as I can tell, everyone loves me there. I'm going to miss them. Subway stories seem to mean a lot more to people who work at subway. It's a sweet thing to have in common.

But, now that it is over, 4 days from now I get on a plane for 9 hours, then I sit in an airport for some more hours, and then I get on a different plane for 10 hours. I don't even know how long the car ride after that will be. And all of that with 5 people I know of but don't really know. Ya know? They are like acquaintances, but I think I know them better than that, but we don't really hang out... I guess I'll make some more friends.

This morning I updated my white board. It has a calender on it that goes up to the beginning of September. That's about as far as I think I know what I'm doing until. Does that sentence work? Anyway, it is kind of funny how empty my calendar looks, but how unavailable I'll be. Two little notes cover 7 weeks. Hahaha. Maybe that isn't so funny.

I've got a plan. I don't know how to implement it now though. I don't think I can. I have a friend I love dearly, but we don't really... I don't know how to put it. It seems very surface, even though I know it isn't. I want to be a better friend to him, but I'm not a very serious person in general, and so I'm generally not taken seriously. What's my point? I'm bad at that stuff. But I've got a plan, as I said. Unfortunately, plans to become better friends with someone don't work well when you are going away for a bit. It will have to wait. I think that's okay.

I hope to be a different person when the summer is over.

Preclude

I watched a movie tonight about a lion. I liked it, in the way that I like those sort pf movies. They get me every time. Like superhero movies. You just feel that much more super afterwards. Anyways, the whole movie I was waiting for the lion to appear, because I knew that once the lion appeared, everything would be okay. It would all stop, because there is a lion, and then who cares what you were doing? The moment never came. But, that was okay. It came close.

John wrote a book, several actually, and they turned into book studies that churches do. My mom went to one, and John spoke to them through a video series thing, and she got that video series. She does stuff like that. Anyway, when I'm in my house, most of the time I'm sitting around, not doing anything. The other day my mom was cleaning up the living room. The living room has pretty much everything you could want to do in this house, and anything not available in the living room is in the bedroom. She was listening to John, and I overheard him. He was talking about heaven, and how it is real and how it is real now. It was alluring. He made me want a piece.

I don't like excuses. I think I've gotten the difference between them and reasons figured out. Excuses are when you don't want to be blunt in telling someone you don't want to.

I have a friend who does more of everything I do, and is fine with that, while I think I should be doing something else. I wish I were more like him, sort of. His mom talked about a guy who was always sharing that life was such a struggle, and that he was barely scraping by, and how totally unappealing that is. Life shouldn't be a struggle. He does what he wants and is fine, and I do what I want and feel like a waste of time. There's nothing wrong, it really is just a waste.

There should be a good thought here at the end, but words fail me. Subway greatly reduces grammatical accuracy.

My anchor's ashore

I wish I could sell responsibilities. I wish other people would buy them. Or even just take them. For free. Maybe this is what stress is?

I finished Chuck's book. He met with people everyday to pray and meet God. They did something like that way back in the day. Some say we can't do that these days because we are too busy. Garbage. Right now, that is just adding more responsibilities and stuff though. It matters more than the rest I suppose. But...How many excuses would you like?

It's totally my birthday tomorrow. Last year I tried not telling anybody. It resulted in no one caring. So this year, I figured I'd do whatever. I'm giving a friend of mine a present tomorrow. I might pay for another ones lunch. That's how hobbits do it, I hear. The aged one gives presents to all his friends on his birthday.

I guess it is my birthday now. I can grace you with my writing prowess. Hmm.

I like to try to make things work. Not like watches. More like events. Nah, more like scheduling. The most efficient has you doing lots of junk. I built today a few hours ago.

I can't continue.

Memory Lapse

Man, I'm pooped.

Thursday I was at Subway for 12 hours, 11 til 11, which is completely ridiculous, and then for 7 hours the next morning. And two days before that, on tuesday, I went to the dentist, who made my mouth hurt a bunch. The secretary told me to take it easy, but I couldn't really. I had to work that night. I think those combined probably did me in. Peninsula United friday night, help set up for that. Try to act like a leader of some sort. It's hard to meet people who are already in their circle. You have to be confident. I was tired. Car wash Saturday morning. That was surprisingly more physically taxing than anticipated. Is that redundant? The next days are pretty full too. Fuller than I like them. In four days though, I'll be fine. Almost there. It's a good kind of tired. Like when you are climbing a mountain.

Chuck has a beautiful story. It's inspiring. I'm not done yet though. I hope that Mark's word relate somehow. He's been good at that recently. I already told you that. I'm almost done. Almost there.

What?