Pumpkin pie

Sometimes I just need to write something here so I will stop thinking about stuff to write here. I plane logs now again. It doesn't take up much mental anything, so it's easy to let the mind drift. And so it does.

I thought about regrets. What if I could go back in time in my life, and live life again from that point on, with all the knowledge I have now? What if I could go back to when I was in highschool, and realized I could do anything I wanted, and actually did something instead of waiting for it to do itself? What if I wasn't scared of new situations and people because they weren't new? Man, I would do things different. Then I realized I was now. Planing logs. It weirded me out a bit. If going back, I would do things different, why don't I do the things that come now how I think I should have done them then? If that makes sense. I'll try again. I'd be friendlier and less shy, more likable if I returned to past situations. Why don't I do this with current situations? Then I thought I should write this down. But there were logs to plane... so I didn't.

But I did keep pondering it. If I did go back and get myself all skilled like in highschool, there is a really good chance I wouldn't be where I am now. Which I guess is part of why I'd want to go back and change stuff. But if I had stuff going, getting skilled and all that, would I have still gone to camp for most of the summer? And, more importantly, gone back the next summer for the whole thing? Because without camp I never met her, and without the next year our relationship never grew. And it continues to grow. If I knew going back and getting skilled made me rich, but I never met her, I don't think I would get rich. This is sounding like one of those movies, where a married guy isn't happy with life, and has a redo. Like seventeen again. Or Shrek. Kind of.

Wisdom was on my mind a bit, so I started reading proverbs. It is true that wisdom has lots to do with listening, and taking advice and rebukes to heart, but 'a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver'. Or something like that. Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps his mouth shut. Wisdom is much more than not talking.

I'm learning (the hard way) that the easy way out is never worth it. Maybe not never. 'Never' and 'Always' should not be used in arguments. Nor should accusatory sentences. "You never listen" "You are always late" Bad. Anyway, I play a nerd game sometimes, and you can beat it, keep a skill, and then play it again, with the option to make it harder. or not. But the harder you make it, the better the rewards are. This might not all make sense. Don, my favourite author, wrote a book about story, about how good stories are about character who overcome a crisis to get what they want. That makes a good story. He went on to talk about how those same principles that make a good story can make a good life.

The harder things are, the more you want to back out. But, if you stick it through, if you overcome, you are something more afterwards. You've grown. If you run out, or give in, give up, you lose. The rewards are nothing, if they are rewards at all, compared to sticking with it. To overcoming. Check out Revelations 2-3. To him who overcomes...

It's worth it.