Lighting up the World

If I stop now, that means we made it almost 7 months. That's a good run, right? I mean, you could ask why, but I think I have decent reasons. It gets in the way. It's a distraction. I really don't have time to throw away.

Sometimes, I wish I would be okay with just writing a line. Just one. And that could be all. I think some of them could stand alone quite well. Yeah.

I think I work too much. I feel like a border in my home. Boarder? Whichever. I don't see my family anymore. But they seem to like me more. They don't get mad at me, and are always smiling. Well, as far as I see.

Let's think this thought again. God asks us to give sacrificially. If you have no expenses, would giving sacrificially look like giving everything? All dollars and time? People tell me to save my money. Ok. That's not too hard. But then people talk of not hoarding stuff. Of taking what the Lord gives you as he gives it. Not hoarding. Not saving? I like to think I'm still a kid, and with that, I will say I don't know enough to figure that out. I'll ask my Mom. She knows everything.

If I wrote this 6 hours ago, this would be drastically different. It would have been a rant on how people are stupid. And, I think they are. In general. I know I shouldn't think like that. I also think I am incredible. I thought that was a good thing to think. My self esteem is good and up there. That's important, right? Teens should have good self esteem or they go downhill. I'm starting to think that being incredible isn't worth it if this is all it is. Maybe, once I see myself as not worth it, and God as where everything is at, then incredible will be what it should be.

40 day revolution of prayer. That is what I say I'm doing. I'm really bad at it. I should take my own advice. I told them not to worry about catching up when they missed some, just carry on. It builds up, and I don't do things once they build up. Too much. I won't touch it. That's not my problem though. Shifting of Focus. Again. The 'of prayer' is the most important part. The activities are trivial in comparison.

It's encouraging to know that other people are doing it with you. I know I'm doing it in a group, and everyone in it is doing it with me, but I doubt they are doing much better than I am. An older couple, who are incredible, said they were doing it with us and praying for us. And you know that they are. I felt encouraged. It feels like a second wind.

That care group is almost cheating, I think. They have so many core church members. Maybe there is a correlation. I might insist that there is. I found the heart of the church. Or part of it.

I think I'm going to go away soon. That's what I want to do. I'll stay in Canada I think. I want to go make my own stories. This isn't for quite a while yet though. Maybe a couple years. It's great having so much time to change your mind. I love it.

Everything is connected. But that might not matter.

If you are going to email me, don't. Call me. Or, if you live far far away, email me, then email someone else to tell them to tell me to check my email.

I'm going to write in my paper book instead, because I love paper.