A couple days ago, I day camp started for some kids, so us leaders met together and did some devotions to keep us tight with God. Groovy. We were told to find a fear that we have. To talk about it for a minute or two. I don't think about that a lot, so it took a bit, it ending up with me saying rejection. I almost thought it might have just been thrown out there to satisfy the demand. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. A few weeks ago, I told someone I was bad at doing stuff alone, like getting jobs or maybe even a girlfriend. I don't want one right now, but if I did, I would be bad at it. I was when I did. But it makes more sense to say that I'm bad at stuff because I'm scared of rejection. You don't have to worry about being rejected with your friends, or with a church group, unless you have sex as a teen, so you wouldn't really have to worry about rejection. It almost isn't even an option. But if out of this comfort zone, you're paralyzed with this fear, or just rendered useless, how can you adequately serve God? In 1 John it says that 'perfect love drives out fear'. In the group we said,'hey, what people think doesn't really matter in that regard. God loves me, so who cares if they don't?' Maybe, God can just deal with it for me.
A few years ago, I used to think that I wasn't really a person. I was just bits and pieces of other people around me, smashed all together. Like Frankenstein's monster. I think I'm my own person now. But I was having a good conversation, and the other described a combination of three people he thought could perhaps replace him when he left. It's an interesting idea. If you hang out with someone long enough, you become a bit of them, and they start to look a little more like you. In their person. That's probably why it's such a good idea to hang out with God so much. Character rubs off. I think I would probably be...
Really annoyed at television. Anywhere in my house. You can hear it. All the time. I really don't like it. It's distracting and loud and pointless. Satan-vision, as I heard a hero of mine call it once.
Wouldn't it be handy if we could stay up all the time? Didn't need sleep. Wouldn't we be so efficient? Well, considering how we use our time now, probably not. Spend days doing nothing. Yes, and then we can stay up for our nights, also doing nothing. I enjoy sleeping, and wouldn't pass it up for nothing. I don't think hanging out with friends is nothing. But I think most of my time spent with them might be wasted. Good conversations might be one of the best things around. I don't have a lot of them. Mostly because I don't have much knowledge of anything to talk about. The price of not having a passion. I guess it might also be because good conversations could go places we don't want to. I like them though. I think I want to have more of them.
Most of this blog is a badly repeated collage of good conversations I've had recently. So you should either recognize some of this blog from something said recently, live far away from me, or are due for a good conversation.
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