Today they made me order things. For a long time. They said 'Werner, we believe in you. You can do this'. I told myself I could do this. Then they gave it to me. It was terribly boring. Whoever did it last left a mess. After a few hours, and then another few hours, I went and made food. It felt really good. I imagined I was one of those gourmet chefs, with all those little tools they use for everything, never still, always adding something to their work of art. I felt like art. Some song from some movie was in my head, so I was humming it. It was all so perfect.
Just like me, they like to be, close to you.
It's strange how time works. I have no understanding of it's true intricacies. Everytime I take a step forward, I wish I was where I came from. I only step where I want to go, but this happens anyway. I thought leaving sandwich artistry was a great idea, but I'm thinking it would have been better if I stayed. Food at slevin? Ridiculous and stupid. Now it is some magical art form, some mystical dance I perform for an audience unaware.
I want to go forward. Somewhere. I really do. But... What if I'm going the wrong way?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Along came a Spider
I've been thinking a little bit. Only a little bit. Here are some of these thinks.
Well this one is a conclusion. I now know why driving drunk and driving sleep deprived both fall under impaired driving.
Why haven't I eaten that chocolate I got for Christmas yet?
Why did I ask for slippers?
Ahem. Remember that book? It came up in those thinks. I am having trouble expressing what I want to, so I am going to pretend I am someone else, asking me questions. So, how is that book coming? Well, I don't really think it is much of one. What? Why is that? Calling it a book right now would be like calling a pile of sticks a house. You could make something out of it. You could make anything out of it. That needs planning. 'Make a book' is almost vague enough to make it work. I am just realizing how raw it all is. How do babies grow out of eggs?
Life seems simpler when it doesn't matter where you land. High is just as good as low. You've got bets on black and red. You cannot lose, so relax. It's okay. Just let go.
I have a friend who writes. He recently wrote about how who you are trumps what you do. I've have had these thoughts come through this mess before, but he comes from a place where he knows who he is, or at least met together a few times. Where whatever he does cannot take away from that. My base looked a bit more like, I don't really think I know me, and now what I do won't help me or anyone else find out who that boy is. It was frustrating. I'm not sure where I am coming from now, or how I take that now. I'm not overly concerned.
It is funny, the things that change how you see things. Have you ever played starcraft? I live to serve.
Well this one is a conclusion. I now know why driving drunk and driving sleep deprived both fall under impaired driving.
Why haven't I eaten that chocolate I got for Christmas yet?
Why did I ask for slippers?
Ahem. Remember that book? It came up in those thinks. I am having trouble expressing what I want to, so I am going to pretend I am someone else, asking me questions. So, how is that book coming? Well, I don't really think it is much of one. What? Why is that? Calling it a book right now would be like calling a pile of sticks a house. You could make something out of it. You could make anything out of it. That needs planning. 'Make a book' is almost vague enough to make it work. I am just realizing how raw it all is. How do babies grow out of eggs?
Life seems simpler when it doesn't matter where you land. High is just as good as low. You've got bets on black and red. You cannot lose, so relax. It's okay. Just let go.
I have a friend who writes. He recently wrote about how who you are trumps what you do. I've have had these thoughts come through this mess before, but he comes from a place where he knows who he is, or at least met together a few times. Where whatever he does cannot take away from that. My base looked a bit more like, I don't really think I know me, and now what I do won't help me or anyone else find out who that boy is. It was frustrating. I'm not sure where I am coming from now, or how I take that now. I'm not overly concerned.
It is funny, the things that change how you see things. Have you ever played starcraft? I live to serve.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)