I thought about writing something really cool and vague but deep on the topic of how to be something, which would totally tell how to do something, kind of, but would also give you a window into my life, through ridiculous intelligent and clever sentences. Alas, I have to know something before I can tell anyone how to do something... You know? I have a friend who has a blog, and I didn't know, and I found it and read it, and he is intelligent and clever. I like those words. It reinspired me to be both of them. Not that I lost inspiration. Just, sometimes, I forget.
I like adventures. I think my clever, intelligent friend should come have adventures with me. Right now, my adventures are somewhat limited. I blame Jed. I blame Jed for everything, and it just isn't right to do that. I blame work. I get up early and do my stuff, and then after I don't want to do anything. As long as I don't stop, I'm okay. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not destined to be a log planer. Not that destiny has anything to do with it. They don't really have work for me right now, so every day I work could be my last. Really messes with your motivation.
Perspective is everything though. Everything is perspective? It's easy to look at life and feel like you couldn't do it. Like you can't do it. And then you lose, game over, and take your ball and run home, but running fixes nothing, because you still only see what you want to see. Or you can fight it. Life gives you lemons. That cliche.
I don't actually know. I know perspective plays a big part in life. I know living defeated sucks.
I like adventures. When I drive at night, and no one is on the road, I think I could drive anywhere. Just drive all night. I could be in a different world by morning. I could go see anyone I wanted. I could go anywhere. I can go anywhere. Do anything. I think sometimes people get stuck, and so they dream, but they don't reach their dreams because they seem unattainable, because the dreams are future, and the people are stuck. But they aren't actually stuck.
I like the idea of setting dates. Let's get married this day. We might go crazy making it happen, but it will happen. Let's go visit that guy who left us. It's nice talk, but things don't seem to happen, in my experience, without something making it happen. Things don't happen by themselves. People don't change because they want to. They change because they have to. If they don't have to, they won't change. Want to change? Put yourself in a place where, unless you start changing now, you won't be able to handle what's coming. This is garbage. I agree with what I'm saying. But presented like this, it's garbage. I should delete it. I won't though.
I should click that monetize button. One day.
We wanted to do a worship night where we brought youth groups from around the area together. So, we puttered around for a while, and finally we set a date. And did nothing. But, as the date is coming closer, we realize we have to do something. We put things in motion that, well, they can be stopped, but that will be embarrassing.... And so we make stuff happen. Find a speaker. Youth groups. Find a band. Or maybe step up and BE a band. I don't know how that story ends yet. You can pray for it though. It's God's anyway. Right?
Maybe I should be doing something else right now.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Pumpkin pie
Sometimes I just need to write something here so I will stop thinking about stuff to write here. I plane logs now again. It doesn't take up much mental anything, so it's easy to let the mind drift. And so it does.
I thought about regrets. What if I could go back in time in my life, and live life again from that point on, with all the knowledge I have now? What if I could go back to when I was in highschool, and realized I could do anything I wanted, and actually did something instead of waiting for it to do itself? What if I wasn't scared of new situations and people because they weren't new? Man, I would do things different. Then I realized I was now. Planing logs. It weirded me out a bit. If going back, I would do things different, why don't I do the things that come now how I think I should have done them then? If that makes sense. I'll try again. I'd be friendlier and less shy, more likable if I returned to past situations. Why don't I do this with current situations? Then I thought I should write this down. But there were logs to plane... so I didn't.
But I did keep pondering it. If I did go back and get myself all skilled like in highschool, there is a really good chance I wouldn't be where I am now. Which I guess is part of why I'd want to go back and change stuff. But if I had stuff going, getting skilled and all that, would I have still gone to camp for most of the summer? And, more importantly, gone back the next summer for the whole thing? Because without camp I never met her, and without the next year our relationship never grew. And it continues to grow. If I knew going back and getting skilled made me rich, but I never met her, I don't think I would get rich. This is sounding like one of those movies, where a married guy isn't happy with life, and has a redo. Like seventeen again. Or Shrek. Kind of.
Wisdom was on my mind a bit, so I started reading proverbs. It is true that wisdom has lots to do with listening, and taking advice and rebukes to heart, but 'a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver'. Or something like that. Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps his mouth shut. Wisdom is much more than not talking.
I'm learning (the hard way) that the easy way out is never worth it. Maybe not never. 'Never' and 'Always' should not be used in arguments. Nor should accusatory sentences. "You never listen" "You are always late" Bad. Anyway, I play a nerd game sometimes, and you can beat it, keep a skill, and then play it again, with the option to make it harder. or not. But the harder you make it, the better the rewards are. This might not all make sense. Don, my favourite author, wrote a book about story, about how good stories are about character who overcome a crisis to get what they want. That makes a good story. He went on to talk about how those same principles that make a good story can make a good life.
The harder things are, the more you want to back out. But, if you stick it through, if you overcome, you are something more afterwards. You've grown. If you run out, or give in, give up, you lose. The rewards are nothing, if they are rewards at all, compared to sticking with it. To overcoming. Check out Revelations 2-3. To him who overcomes...
It's worth it.
I thought about regrets. What if I could go back in time in my life, and live life again from that point on, with all the knowledge I have now? What if I could go back to when I was in highschool, and realized I could do anything I wanted, and actually did something instead of waiting for it to do itself? What if I wasn't scared of new situations and people because they weren't new? Man, I would do things different. Then I realized I was now. Planing logs. It weirded me out a bit. If going back, I would do things different, why don't I do the things that come now how I think I should have done them then? If that makes sense. I'll try again. I'd be friendlier and less shy, more likable if I returned to past situations. Why don't I do this with current situations? Then I thought I should write this down. But there were logs to plane... so I didn't.
But I did keep pondering it. If I did go back and get myself all skilled like in highschool, there is a really good chance I wouldn't be where I am now. Which I guess is part of why I'd want to go back and change stuff. But if I had stuff going, getting skilled and all that, would I have still gone to camp for most of the summer? And, more importantly, gone back the next summer for the whole thing? Because without camp I never met her, and without the next year our relationship never grew. And it continues to grow. If I knew going back and getting skilled made me rich, but I never met her, I don't think I would get rich. This is sounding like one of those movies, where a married guy isn't happy with life, and has a redo. Like seventeen again. Or Shrek. Kind of.
Wisdom was on my mind a bit, so I started reading proverbs. It is true that wisdom has lots to do with listening, and taking advice and rebukes to heart, but 'a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver'. Or something like that. Even a fool is considered wise if he keeps his mouth shut. Wisdom is much more than not talking.
I'm learning (the hard way) that the easy way out is never worth it. Maybe not never. 'Never' and 'Always' should not be used in arguments. Nor should accusatory sentences. "You never listen" "You are always late" Bad. Anyway, I play a nerd game sometimes, and you can beat it, keep a skill, and then play it again, with the option to make it harder. or not. But the harder you make it, the better the rewards are. This might not all make sense. Don, my favourite author, wrote a book about story, about how good stories are about character who overcome a crisis to get what they want. That makes a good story. He went on to talk about how those same principles that make a good story can make a good life.
The harder things are, the more you want to back out. But, if you stick it through, if you overcome, you are something more afterwards. You've grown. If you run out, or give in, give up, you lose. The rewards are nothing, if they are rewards at all, compared to sticking with it. To overcoming. Check out Revelations 2-3. To him who overcomes...
It's worth it.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Ain't it something to know...
The problem with the world can't be boiled down to one problem. Can it? I guess one could try. I'm not that balzy though.
Nor am I that talksy. I went to a bible study with some guys. It was defs an older person bible study. and really small. I like small. There is nothing wrong with small. Just, when someone doesn't talk, it gets noticed. In the beginning, I disagreed heavily with what they were saying. But as I listened, they went other places that I did agree with. I was glad I held my tongue, and so continued to do so. Afterwards, one of the guys told me I was the wisest one there. Apparently wisdom doesn't speak. Or those with wisdom don't. Maybe that's true. Maybe that is why things are the way they are today.
Some things never change though. I believe men need to work. Not necessarily that they were made to work, but that they need to. Paul says if you don't work, you don't eat. I like that rule. I'll be a great parent. And even before that, with the fall, work had to be to get food. Farming is a lot of work. You can diss farmers if you want. You can also starve if you want. Since I believe I should be working, not being able to find anything is all the more frustrating. No wonder the unemployed feel so helpless. So useless.
One day, if things work out, I'll build things. I like the idea of building something. I also like the idea of getting better, at improving on what you do. It's work though. There's no such thing as a free lunch, or so I've heard. The good things in life are worth waiting for. The good things in life are worth working for. Worth living for. But still, I sit here, not really working towards anything. Unemployed people might think they are lazy too. No matter how much work they do. And no matter how little work they do, they are still tired. Bizarre? I think so.
I've heard, in some societies, they have a rite of manhood, where a boy becomes a man. After this rite, he is no longer treated like a boy, because he is a man. If they continued to treat him like a boy after he underwent that rite, he might continue to act like a boy. We don't have rites of manhood here. Now. So, boys go on being boys until they get tired of it. Some never do. Some end up being thirty, forty years old and still living in their parent's basement. And then boys meet girls and make more, who also don't learn about being men.
It's time someone grew up. Not saying people don't. I know lots of people that I shared my childhood with who are all grown. What I am saying is, it's probably time for me to grow up.
I wish I decided this years ago though.
Nor am I that talksy. I went to a bible study with some guys. It was defs an older person bible study. and really small. I like small. There is nothing wrong with small. Just, when someone doesn't talk, it gets noticed. In the beginning, I disagreed heavily with what they were saying. But as I listened, they went other places that I did agree with. I was glad I held my tongue, and so continued to do so. Afterwards, one of the guys told me I was the wisest one there. Apparently wisdom doesn't speak. Or those with wisdom don't. Maybe that's true. Maybe that is why things are the way they are today.
Some things never change though. I believe men need to work. Not necessarily that they were made to work, but that they need to. Paul says if you don't work, you don't eat. I like that rule. I'll be a great parent. And even before that, with the fall, work had to be to get food. Farming is a lot of work. You can diss farmers if you want. You can also starve if you want. Since I believe I should be working, not being able to find anything is all the more frustrating. No wonder the unemployed feel so helpless. So useless.
One day, if things work out, I'll build things. I like the idea of building something. I also like the idea of getting better, at improving on what you do. It's work though. There's no such thing as a free lunch, or so I've heard. The good things in life are worth waiting for. The good things in life are worth working for. Worth living for. But still, I sit here, not really working towards anything. Unemployed people might think they are lazy too. No matter how much work they do. And no matter how little work they do, they are still tired. Bizarre? I think so.
I've heard, in some societies, they have a rite of manhood, where a boy becomes a man. After this rite, he is no longer treated like a boy, because he is a man. If they continued to treat him like a boy after he underwent that rite, he might continue to act like a boy. We don't have rites of manhood here. Now. So, boys go on being boys until they get tired of it. Some never do. Some end up being thirty, forty years old and still living in their parent's basement. And then boys meet girls and make more, who also don't learn about being men.
It's time someone grew up. Not saying people don't. I know lots of people that I shared my childhood with who are all grown. What I am saying is, it's probably time for me to grow up.
I wish I decided this years ago though.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Speeding metal things
I have some to say about these. Firstly, I think these are dangerous. Doesn't matter how you look at it. Who thought metal flying around at ridiculous speeds was a good thing? Now, the description 'Speeding metal things' can apply to a variety of objects. Like bullets. But in this episode, I am referring to automobiles. My thoughts and past encounters with them, in order.
Speeding is an interesting thing. The law says you can't go faster than this, but everybody does it anyway. I was passively against speeding before I started driving. Passively meaning, I don't think I would speed, but the next guy can do what he wants. I understood, and understand, that speeding doesn't actually get you places that much faster. And if you need to speed to get somewhere on time, well, better late than never, right? This is all great theory, and I still agree with most of it. But once I started driving, I definitely started speeding. Sometimes. When someone was right on my tail, I felt like it was rude to not go faster, and though I was relieved when someone in front of me did the speed limit so I had to too, when no one was around I still sped. I still think speeding is kind of stupid. Anyway, one of the times I was behind a speed limit car, being thankful, I had a thought. I guess it was from God, perhaps. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish which are from me or not. Looking back, none of them are clearly labeled. But I'd like to think it was from God.
The thought was that breaking the law or not shouldn't rely on what others around me are doing. If someone behind me wanted to go faster, I sped up. I didn't speed when there was a slow car in front of me, but that was it. My ability to follow the rules or not depends on me, doesn't it? Why did I let other people's actions decide what I do? So I slowed down. At the time it was voluntary, but now my hand has been forced.
On Saturday, I was driving to pick up Steph from work. So, I rounded a corner, and there was something in the road. It was a log. I almost dodged it. It went flying off the road to the right, and I pulled over. Hit the rim pretty nicely. Changed the tire. A guy pulled over to help me. Nice guy. Got it all changed, and off I go. Except poor Maggie wants to go right, all the time. Log did more damage than I thought. Sunday afternoon I got my mechanic(and only) roommate to look at it/drive it. He deems it dangerous. I went to a place to get it fixed, but they sent me to another place that I don't know the location of. It's really sketch driving in snow now. I drive really slow.
Tonight, My fiancee was in a car crash. She was going slowly, but the road was super icy and the car spun around. It's hard not to press on the brakes. They make you stop most of the time. The car hit a telephone pole on the other side of the road. Her and her sister were okay, but shaken up. When I got to the hospital, they made me wait. and wait. and wait. I was so mad. But I finally got to see her. Crashing shakes a person up a bit. The car is toast. They are okay though, and that's what matters. That's all that matters.
I heard I sermon once, or maybe it was just an announcement, or just maybe I was daydreaming in church (oops), but the thought stuck on how dangerous cars really are. It's a passive belief, and any hope it has of growing is squelched by my forced reliance on them. I don't live ten minutes walking from town anymore with a fancy bus service.
I don't like cars.
Speeding is an interesting thing. The law says you can't go faster than this, but everybody does it anyway. I was passively against speeding before I started driving. Passively meaning, I don't think I would speed, but the next guy can do what he wants. I understood, and understand, that speeding doesn't actually get you places that much faster. And if you need to speed to get somewhere on time, well, better late than never, right? This is all great theory, and I still agree with most of it. But once I started driving, I definitely started speeding. Sometimes. When someone was right on my tail, I felt like it was rude to not go faster, and though I was relieved when someone in front of me did the speed limit so I had to too, when no one was around I still sped. I still think speeding is kind of stupid. Anyway, one of the times I was behind a speed limit car, being thankful, I had a thought. I guess it was from God, perhaps. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish which are from me or not. Looking back, none of them are clearly labeled. But I'd like to think it was from God.
The thought was that breaking the law or not shouldn't rely on what others around me are doing. If someone behind me wanted to go faster, I sped up. I didn't speed when there was a slow car in front of me, but that was it. My ability to follow the rules or not depends on me, doesn't it? Why did I let other people's actions decide what I do? So I slowed down. At the time it was voluntary, but now my hand has been forced.
On Saturday, I was driving to pick up Steph from work. So, I rounded a corner, and there was something in the road. It was a log. I almost dodged it. It went flying off the road to the right, and I pulled over. Hit the rim pretty nicely. Changed the tire. A guy pulled over to help me. Nice guy. Got it all changed, and off I go. Except poor Maggie wants to go right, all the time. Log did more damage than I thought. Sunday afternoon I got my mechanic(and only) roommate to look at it/drive it. He deems it dangerous. I went to a place to get it fixed, but they sent me to another place that I don't know the location of. It's really sketch driving in snow now. I drive really slow.
Tonight, My fiancee was in a car crash. She was going slowly, but the road was super icy and the car spun around. It's hard not to press on the brakes. They make you stop most of the time. The car hit a telephone pole on the other side of the road. Her and her sister were okay, but shaken up. When I got to the hospital, they made me wait. and wait. and wait. I was so mad. But I finally got to see her. Crashing shakes a person up a bit. The car is toast. They are okay though, and that's what matters. That's all that matters.
I heard I sermon once, or maybe it was just an announcement, or just maybe I was daydreaming in church (oops), but the thought stuck on how dangerous cars really are. It's a passive belief, and any hope it has of growing is squelched by my forced reliance on them. I don't live ten minutes walking from town anymore with a fancy bus service.
I don't like cars.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Fifths
So, this first chunk will be updating all my internet stalkers on where I am. I haven't posted here since April, and might not post again for a while. But I like that it is still here, and that I can still continue to write whatever I desire here. Beautiful.
I passed year one of Bible College. Not flying colours, but I sure didn't suck. It's like in highschool, where I could have done well if I tried. At that time,. trying seemed ridiculous. I'd rather just have fun with my friends who were there. Which I do not regret at all, because through events they left me or I left them. We are still friends, just not in the same place. So, no regrets, but at college, I tried, and I did better. Fancy that.
In May, Steph and I rocked the world. Well, not quite, but it sounds cool. We went up to Fort Saint John, because some of her family lives up there. I hadn't met them before. Before we left, the head of the family had a talk with me about being responsible and stuff like that. You're getting married? Do you have a job? How will you provide for her? Do you have a house? All very good questions. Still, I was upset. Probably most because I knew he was right. I wish he wasn't though. If he wasn't right, then maybe I would be married right now. Things would not be easier, but different things would be hard than the things that are hard now. I still wish I was more together.
We spent the summer at camp, and grew a lot. The theme was trials, which was great. I know camp is for the kids, but I'll betcha I got more out of it, and am still getting more out of it than the kids did. Life is hard, which leaves me lost and weak feeling. 'unprepared' 'irresponsible' 'not ready' 'sincere but misled'. Which make trials and hard stuff great. I can't do it. I'm not self sustaining. Independence leaves me dead. I'm not enough. I know who is though. That helps.
After camp, I went home and practicing driving lots. Tons. Not enough. I failed my N test, and was very sad. Trials, right? My dad gave me a couple books to read. One about what we do with our money(I was very skeptical, but it was actually pretty good) and one about trusting God. They might have changed how I think. I'm pretty sure everything changes how I think. I passed the test two weeks later. Barely.
Hours after passing, I had bought a car and got it insured. Woot woot. But, the car was a standard, and I didn't actually know how to drive standard. Oops. Haha. So, a friend of mine who did know how to drive standard drove with me a bit. It helped. The next morning I had breakfast with my bad and my brother before moving. I stopped off at the college on the way up. I like those guys. Arrived at my destination the next day.
I arrived on a Thursday. The monday following a guy called me with a job, which was sweet. But only two weeks long. But when it ended, he called another guy who had a job for me. Also sweet. That lasted three weeks.That's the beginning of November. A whole month of being sad and not having a job despite much searching. I hate job searching. Now we are here. I have no money, and some by the end of the month fo sho. But, I got a part time job as a sandwich artist starting on Tuesday. It's something. And I still know I'm not alone.
I don't fully know what I want to do with my life. I know I want to marry my beautiful fiancee and support her well, have a family, please God, good stuff like that. But the how I support them, I have no idea.
There have been things in my life that I have thoroughly enjoyed. Musical theatre throughout highschool, Camp, Look Out Behind You. I play a dumb game sometimes. It's great. It's lots of fun, I think. The creator and company do radio shows and stuff, and I'm nerd enough to listen to them. I find, more than playing the game, I'd rather be on their end, making it happen. But I know I wouldn't fit with them. From what I've seen, those who are putting the whatever on for the rest generally have a better time, and a tighter community. Sometimes, after I watch a movie, I like to watch the bloopers. Who doesn't? But after that, I might end up watching a commentary. Or two. Weird eh? I blame the bloopers. I see the community they have, and I want to be a part of that. Which translates to me telling myself that I want to be an actor. But even in highschool, I noticed that the teachers, faculty I should say, had their own community going too. I hoped that writing this out would clean it up in my head. Hmm.
Essentially, I decided I need to start something that does something for people who need it, and I need to do it with people. I just don't know what it is, or who it is for.
I passed year one of Bible College. Not flying colours, but I sure didn't suck. It's like in highschool, where I could have done well if I tried. At that time,. trying seemed ridiculous. I'd rather just have fun with my friends who were there. Which I do not regret at all, because through events they left me or I left them. We are still friends, just not in the same place. So, no regrets, but at college, I tried, and I did better. Fancy that.
In May, Steph and I rocked the world. Well, not quite, but it sounds cool. We went up to Fort Saint John, because some of her family lives up there. I hadn't met them before. Before we left, the head of the family had a talk with me about being responsible and stuff like that. You're getting married? Do you have a job? How will you provide for her? Do you have a house? All very good questions. Still, I was upset. Probably most because I knew he was right. I wish he wasn't though. If he wasn't right, then maybe I would be married right now. Things would not be easier, but different things would be hard than the things that are hard now. I still wish I was more together.
We spent the summer at camp, and grew a lot. The theme was trials, which was great. I know camp is for the kids, but I'll betcha I got more out of it, and am still getting more out of it than the kids did. Life is hard, which leaves me lost and weak feeling. 'unprepared' 'irresponsible' 'not ready' 'sincere but misled'. Which make trials and hard stuff great. I can't do it. I'm not self sustaining. Independence leaves me dead. I'm not enough. I know who is though. That helps.
After camp, I went home and practicing driving lots. Tons. Not enough. I failed my N test, and was very sad. Trials, right? My dad gave me a couple books to read. One about what we do with our money(I was very skeptical, but it was actually pretty good) and one about trusting God. They might have changed how I think. I'm pretty sure everything changes how I think. I passed the test two weeks later. Barely.
Hours after passing, I had bought a car and got it insured. Woot woot. But, the car was a standard, and I didn't actually know how to drive standard. Oops. Haha. So, a friend of mine who did know how to drive standard drove with me a bit. It helped. The next morning I had breakfast with my bad and my brother before moving. I stopped off at the college on the way up. I like those guys. Arrived at my destination the next day.
I arrived on a Thursday. The monday following a guy called me with a job, which was sweet. But only two weeks long. But when it ended, he called another guy who had a job for me. Also sweet. That lasted three weeks.That's the beginning of November. A whole month of being sad and not having a job despite much searching. I hate job searching. Now we are here. I have no money, and some by the end of the month fo sho. But, I got a part time job as a sandwich artist starting on Tuesday. It's something. And I still know I'm not alone.
I don't fully know what I want to do with my life. I know I want to marry my beautiful fiancee and support her well, have a family, please God, good stuff like that. But the how I support them, I have no idea.
There have been things in my life that I have thoroughly enjoyed. Musical theatre throughout highschool, Camp, Look Out Behind You. I play a dumb game sometimes. It's great. It's lots of fun, I think. The creator and company do radio shows and stuff, and I'm nerd enough to listen to them. I find, more than playing the game, I'd rather be on their end, making it happen. But I know I wouldn't fit with them. From what I've seen, those who are putting the whatever on for the rest generally have a better time, and a tighter community. Sometimes, after I watch a movie, I like to watch the bloopers. Who doesn't? But after that, I might end up watching a commentary. Or two. Weird eh? I blame the bloopers. I see the community they have, and I want to be a part of that. Which translates to me telling myself that I want to be an actor. But even in highschool, I noticed that the teachers, faculty I should say, had their own community going too. I hoped that writing this out would clean it up in my head. Hmm.
Essentially, I decided I need to start something that does something for people who need it, and I need to do it with people. I just don't know what it is, or who it is for.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Objects in Space
A large portion of me frequently thinks I might be insane, or at least really, really weird. Yeah Werner, we all know that. Ha. Ha. So. Funny. The way my head works seems so ridiculous sometimes. I'm pretty old, and I still don't know how I work.
People keep telling me I am lousy at posting often. It's true. You win. Tell me it more. That's how you change things. Or, maybe, just maybe, I know it sounds crazy, but you could give me something to post about. Life as a student is highly exciting. Full of excitement. Excitement that by no means is internet worthy, and that sure is saying something. We may never know what, but it is definitely something.
I'm getting married! In September! Some people wonder why I want to marry her so fast. The bestest reason I could think of is that, once I marry her, our relationship doesn't have to be distant anymore. There are benefits to distance, like you can't do stupid things like go swing dancing together. You can't really do much together, except talk, and so we talk, and talking is great. We understand that we are different. That it won't be all roses. But, every short visit is tough because we are ripped apart again. And, until we say some vows and sign some papers in front of some witnesses, establishing a covenant with each other, that's all we have to look forward to. Distant talks and painful farewells. Sounds great, right? Sicko.
I highly enjoy Mark Hawkes classes, as I have probably said before. Almost definitely. I should read this more often. We are almost done. Just weeks left. Three and half left. So we are in Deuteronomy, because the Pentateuch is the first five books of the bible, and Deuteronomy is the last book. This must be hard reading. Well, the emphasis was how do we love God? The class has been applying things I had known before in ways that totally make sense. Why are there so many laws in the bible? Well, why do shampoo bottles say 'Do not drink'? We needed the rules. We need the rules. And the more we break them, the more we are given.
This morning was about how God loves us, and entered into a covenant with the Israelites, and then... that's what a wedding is, right? A covenant between two people? Doesn't the New testament say a few times that we are the bride of Christ? Yeah Werner, we all know that. Sure you do. Prove it. If God is wedded to us, he has shown and shows that he loves us. And if we want our union with God to last, we have to show that we love him too. Love is a choice. Sure, love can be a feeling, but when the feeling fades, you can still love. If I treated Stephanie like I treat God, she wouldn't have said yes. How do I show God that I love him?
I asked Stephanie once, how was best to show someone that you loved them, and she said, "to show someone you love them... I think it's in the way you live, it's the way you treat them when they are around, it's the way you behave when they arent around. It's making choices that you know they would smile at.. rather than cringe at. That's what I think anyways..". Sometimes I wish following God boiled down to things I could do. But, the things I am supposed to do, I do so badly at. Other times, I think it is best how it is. Even if it has to be so hard, all the time. And by so hard, I mean the same situation, over and over again. God pulled through once, can he do it again? Why is that hard?
I've discovered also, that despite my statements about being old, I am actually really young, and know almost nothing. So, I don't really mind some time learning, being built, becoming equipped, if you will. I'm not making sense anymore. Post end.
People keep telling me I am lousy at posting often. It's true. You win. Tell me it more. That's how you change things. Or, maybe, just maybe, I know it sounds crazy, but you could give me something to post about. Life as a student is highly exciting. Full of excitement. Excitement that by no means is internet worthy, and that sure is saying something. We may never know what, but it is definitely something.
I'm getting married! In September! Some people wonder why I want to marry her so fast. The bestest reason I could think of is that, once I marry her, our relationship doesn't have to be distant anymore. There are benefits to distance, like you can't do stupid things like go swing dancing together. You can't really do much together, except talk, and so we talk, and talking is great. We understand that we are different. That it won't be all roses. But, every short visit is tough because we are ripped apart again. And, until we say some vows and sign some papers in front of some witnesses, establishing a covenant with each other, that's all we have to look forward to. Distant talks and painful farewells. Sounds great, right? Sicko.
I highly enjoy Mark Hawkes classes, as I have probably said before. Almost definitely. I should read this more often. We are almost done. Just weeks left. Three and half left. So we are in Deuteronomy, because the Pentateuch is the first five books of the bible, and Deuteronomy is the last book. This must be hard reading. Well, the emphasis was how do we love God? The class has been applying things I had known before in ways that totally make sense. Why are there so many laws in the bible? Well, why do shampoo bottles say 'Do not drink'? We needed the rules. We need the rules. And the more we break them, the more we are given.
This morning was about how God loves us, and entered into a covenant with the Israelites, and then... that's what a wedding is, right? A covenant between two people? Doesn't the New testament say a few times that we are the bride of Christ? Yeah Werner, we all know that. Sure you do. Prove it. If God is wedded to us, he has shown and shows that he loves us. And if we want our union with God to last, we have to show that we love him too. Love is a choice. Sure, love can be a feeling, but when the feeling fades, you can still love. If I treated Stephanie like I treat God, she wouldn't have said yes. How do I show God that I love him?
I asked Stephanie once, how was best to show someone that you loved them, and she said, "to show someone you love them... I think it's in the way you live, it's the way you treat them when they are around, it's the way you behave when they arent around. It's making choices that you know they would smile at.. rather than cringe at. That's what I think anyways..". Sometimes I wish following God boiled down to things I could do. But, the things I am supposed to do, I do so badly at. Other times, I think it is best how it is. Even if it has to be so hard, all the time. And by so hard, I mean the same situation, over and over again. God pulled through once, can he do it again? Why is that hard?
I've discovered also, that despite my statements about being old, I am actually really young, and know almost nothing. So, I don't really mind some time learning, being built, becoming equipped, if you will. I'm not making sense anymore. Post end.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Between
Ahaha. So, I'm in between class now. Not classes, but class. Gotta love double blocks. Especially this one. Pentateuch might be my favourite course this semester. This morning, I woke up early. Not early enough to pick daffodils, but early enough to have tons of time for breakfast and even get to class early. Only to discover, someone thought pranks were funny. They moved everything in the commuter lunge into a classroom, a classroom into the lounge, and another classroom into the hallway. And they put lots of chairs in the boys washroom stalls. So, I was conscripted. These cool kid prankers also messed with the projector, and there was no power point for us this morning. Brilliant. But is was still a good class, because... Because why? Well, the plagues are really cool, and Mark is a good teachers, and it has built my expectations up high, and they haven't been let down yet. And he is the only teacher I personally elected to tell I was engaged.
Oh yeah, I'm engaged. I said I wouldn't type this story, but I have half an hour, right? Why not? Stephanie was moving to my island, so she drove down to visit me before catching a boat to my island. We didn't really know what to do while here, so we had a tour and walked around and visited Mike and Michelle. Mike said, hey, you could probably go with them. I remembered discussing why we couldn't though, so I rehashed those. Chairs-don't worry about chairs. Umm.... it's illegal. Oh. Well, we tried. However, the next day, Sunday, Mike was driving to the ferry in the morning anyway, and in the evening anyway too, so... Stephanie and company left, and I started thinking, I could totally go to my island tomorrow.
So I did. I caught an earlyish ferry, grabbed a bus, landed at a mall. And went ring shopping. Oh man. This one guy was trying to sell me things as though I had money. Yeah right. Then I hoofed it real fast to her house, wondering if I knew the right place. I knew a place, and I knew where I was going, but if I had it wrong somehow, I had no idea. But I didn't have it wrong. I got the grand tour, and then I walked her down to the mall so she would know where the mall that was really close to her was.
We got back to her place around 5, and then headed out in search of a park. I knew there were parks everywhere, but I kind of forgot where. We saw a car gate, and figured parks have car gates. Do parks have car gates? I don't know. It was not a park. I later learned that, had I just continued up the road another five minutes, we would have found a wonderful park. great view and everything. But, that didn't happen. We had found a water reservoir. and it was misty, and kind of creepy (creepy good) and there were empty lots that looked like houses belonged, but they didn't. No dogs were allowed on the reservoir, so we walked around, and found a potentially creepy path, and Stephanie wanted to walk it, because it wasn't creepy yet, because it was not dark. I said we should chill at the reservoir though. I still don't know where that path goes.
We walked into the middle of the reservoir (because we are not dogs) and I pulled out a magic twig. The day before, when she was visiting me at the school, she gave me some magic leafs that would allow me to ask her a special question, and she would have to answer, honestly and without avoidance. She had been thinking that she does that too often, and she doesn't want to. That was her purpose for the leafs, which were gross, so we ripped the leaf part off, and thus, magic twigs. So, I gave her one of those. She gave me two, but I couldn't find the other. She asked me what my question was, and I totally had one, but I was scared, so I stalled. We talked about romantic things like earthquakes and animal pee. Delish. Eventually, she didn't believe I had a question, and said she could keep the stem until I did. But I did have a question. I made her count to thirteen, and she did, since she figured we were being very silly. Do you know what happens now? No, what? I tell you what my special question is. Oh, I knew that. So, what is it?...
Nothing happened.
We walked over to a water pump thing, and then to the other side. No more stalling Werner. Okay. I told her she should sit down, close her eyes, and count to five. She said it was wet, so she didn't want to sit, and last time she counted, nothing happened. But she agreed eventually. She didn't sit down though. She counted to four, and her numbers were all over the place after that. I smiled. Her eyes were closed, so I could assume the position and bust out the ring. Yes, I got a ring. I asked her, when she was done counting, and she said yes and called me crazy and Spanish, and was very excited. That's pretty much the story, right? We walked back to her place in the dark.
We started telling people pretty quick. Some people were that, 'that's so cool!' and others were like 'okay. Congrats', and still others 'What? I didn't even know you were going out', and more recently 'Really? is it true?' Is it really that unbelievable? Recently, we put it up on facecrack. Immediately, comments were on Stephanie's side of things. Many likes. My side, nothing. There is one comment. From Stephanie. Because I kept complaining that nobody liked that I was engaged, only that she was. More people care that if I tried to bus in Vancouver, I'd get lost. Jarper even likes that. hahaha. Oh Jarper...
They shut down the internet soon, so, like it or not, this is the end of this post. Happy 100th post! haha.
Oh yeah, I'm engaged. I said I wouldn't type this story, but I have half an hour, right? Why not? Stephanie was moving to my island, so she drove down to visit me before catching a boat to my island. We didn't really know what to do while here, so we had a tour and walked around and visited Mike and Michelle. Mike said, hey, you could probably go with them. I remembered discussing why we couldn't though, so I rehashed those. Chairs-don't worry about chairs. Umm.... it's illegal. Oh. Well, we tried. However, the next day, Sunday, Mike was driving to the ferry in the morning anyway, and in the evening anyway too, so... Stephanie and company left, and I started thinking, I could totally go to my island tomorrow.
So I did. I caught an earlyish ferry, grabbed a bus, landed at a mall. And went ring shopping. Oh man. This one guy was trying to sell me things as though I had money. Yeah right. Then I hoofed it real fast to her house, wondering if I knew the right place. I knew a place, and I knew where I was going, but if I had it wrong somehow, I had no idea. But I didn't have it wrong. I got the grand tour, and then I walked her down to the mall so she would know where the mall that was really close to her was.
We got back to her place around 5, and then headed out in search of a park. I knew there were parks everywhere, but I kind of forgot where. We saw a car gate, and figured parks have car gates. Do parks have car gates? I don't know. It was not a park. I later learned that, had I just continued up the road another five minutes, we would have found a wonderful park. great view and everything. But, that didn't happen. We had found a water reservoir. and it was misty, and kind of creepy (creepy good) and there were empty lots that looked like houses belonged, but they didn't. No dogs were allowed on the reservoir, so we walked around, and found a potentially creepy path, and Stephanie wanted to walk it, because it wasn't creepy yet, because it was not dark. I said we should chill at the reservoir though. I still don't know where that path goes.
We walked into the middle of the reservoir (because we are not dogs) and I pulled out a magic twig. The day before, when she was visiting me at the school, she gave me some magic leafs that would allow me to ask her a special question, and she would have to answer, honestly and without avoidance. She had been thinking that she does that too often, and she doesn't want to. That was her purpose for the leafs, which were gross, so we ripped the leaf part off, and thus, magic twigs. So, I gave her one of those. She gave me two, but I couldn't find the other. She asked me what my question was, and I totally had one, but I was scared, so I stalled. We talked about romantic things like earthquakes and animal pee. Delish. Eventually, she didn't believe I had a question, and said she could keep the stem until I did. But I did have a question. I made her count to thirteen, and she did, since she figured we were being very silly. Do you know what happens now? No, what? I tell you what my special question is. Oh, I knew that. So, what is it?...
Nothing happened.
We walked over to a water pump thing, and then to the other side. No more stalling Werner. Okay. I told her she should sit down, close her eyes, and count to five. She said it was wet, so she didn't want to sit, and last time she counted, nothing happened. But she agreed eventually. She didn't sit down though. She counted to four, and her numbers were all over the place after that. I smiled. Her eyes were closed, so I could assume the position and bust out the ring. Yes, I got a ring. I asked her, when she was done counting, and she said yes and called me crazy and Spanish, and was very excited. That's pretty much the story, right? We walked back to her place in the dark.
We started telling people pretty quick. Some people were that, 'that's so cool!' and others were like 'okay. Congrats', and still others 'What? I didn't even know you were going out', and more recently 'Really? is it true?' Is it really that unbelievable? Recently, we put it up on facecrack. Immediately, comments were on Stephanie's side of things. Many likes. My side, nothing. There is one comment. From Stephanie. Because I kept complaining that nobody liked that I was engaged, only that she was. More people care that if I tried to bus in Vancouver, I'd get lost. Jarper even likes that. hahaha. Oh Jarper...
They shut down the internet soon, so, like it or not, this is the end of this post. Happy 100th post! haha.
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